Tales From Earth:Where's My Meniscus and other time wasters

There are many well-known games that have been played for hundreds of years on Earth - Backgammon, Chess, Go, Poker, Sorry! and Tennis are the obvious examples. But in Earth's late twentieth and early twentyfirst century, in the magnificent city of London, their lived a group of people who loved games, but tired of the predictability of the currently available batch of games. So they decided they should invent a collection of new games, and play them at all opportunities. Furthermore, they kept an ear out for other "underground" games. This is the first attempt to list and document the games this group played, so that they are available to a wider audience.

Where's My Meniscus

Also known as the spirit level, this is quite possibly the greatest drinking game of all time. It was invented before the group convened, at the George Pub in Borough, London, on Sunday 17th June 2001.

The Rules

• The game is for 2-10 players, although the optimal number is around 4-6. For the purposes of explaining, there will be precisely 5 players.
• Each player should be provided with a full glass of a (preferably alcoholic) drink whilst, at the same time, the whole group should be given a pen and sheet of paper
• The game consists of an unlimited number of "sets". The prize for winning a set is a brand new drink (which does not play a part in the game) at the start of the next set.
• Each set consists of N "rounds", where N is the number of players. Each person is "first guesser" in exactly one round.
• At the start of a round, everybody covers their drink with their hands and drinks (or pretends to drink) from their glass.
• They maintain the cover of their drinks. (Sometimes hiding said drink under the table)
• When everyone is done drinking, each person (starting with the first guesser, and continuing clockwise around the group) shall guess the ranking of liquid heights in the glasses from highest to the lowest.
• These predictions are written down on the paper with the pen.
• When everyone has made their guesses, their glasses are exposed and the levels assessed.
• The predictions are scored on their accuracy, with two points given for each correct rank.
  • Thus if the correct order were Caine, Tippy, Anna, Aiko, Sente, and the guess of Tippy, Anna, Aiko, Sente, Caine would be worth 0 while the guess Sente, Aiko, Anna, Tippy, Caine would be worth 2.
• Noone may drain their drink until the final round of each set.

The Ainsley Harriot Game

This is a game that successfully convenes those two ever popular styles of games: the guessing game and the memory game.

The Rules

• The game is for at least 4 players. 6 is quite possibly optimal.
• The players should form the concept of a democratic counsel with policies for nomination, election, demotion and destruction. This counsel should then have a nomination of members, and an election. This counsel should decide a way of splitting the group into two (or more) teams of roughly equal size. When this has happened, each member of the counsel should be demoted, and the counsel then destroyed. This step may (and should) be omitted if the players decide upon teams in another manner.
• Pieces of paper shall be torn into thin strips, but not too thin to be written upon.
• Each player takes 3-5 "or so" pieces of paper, writes a phrase on each, and puts them into an object called "the hat".
  • Oft used phrases include:
    • Actions involving famous people, for example:
      • Ainsley Harriott is cooking my garlic.
      • Charlotte Church knows how to swim.
    • Lyrics from songs, for example:
      • Jennifer Eccles had terrible freckles.
      • I thought I'd test it on the Love Connection.
    • Lists of buildings and birds, for example:
      • Albatross Empire State Building Mosque Ostrich
      • Church Cock Church Cock
    • Complete Nonsense, for example:
      • The beatles independent can run but was.
      • Chef carp.
  • Oft used hats include:
    • A top hat
    • A pint glass
    • A pizza hut box
    • A pizza hut box
    • A KFC box
    • A pizza hut box
• A time limit is agreed by mutual consent. Often this time limit is 15 seconds.
• Now the teams play 3 rounds.
• Round 1

The Buzz Game

Whilst the buzz game is not the least derivative game invented by this group of individuals, it has often provided much entertainment.

The Rules

• At least three players are needed.
• The player carrying the fewest number of coins is chosen to be the original buzzmaster
• Each player, apart from the buzzmaster, is given a score of 0
• The buzzmaster asks a question, often about general knowledge or shared knowledge of the group. Examples of questions used are:
  • How many plays by Charles Dickens feature a character called Peter?
  • What is the average length of a Walrus' eyeball?
  • What was Olivia's most recent order at the bar?
• Players may "buzz in" at any time during or after the question by saying the word "buzz".
• The buzzmaster judges who the first player to "buzz in" was, and that player must attempt to answer the question.
  • If the player is correct, his score goes up by one. This is called 'scoring a point'.
  • If the player is incorrect, the buzzmaster continues asking the question, and other players may "buzz in".
• If a player has made an incorrect guess, she is allowed to have another attempt if he wants to, by saying the word "rebuzz". (This practice is called 'rebuzzing in'). It is the buzzmaster's option whether to allow a rebuzz. Rebuzzes are usually rebuffed unless every player has had a chance to answer.
• When a player reaches five points, they win and become the new buzzmaster.

Variants

Imbecile Buzz Game

• A version of the game which is extra challenging because most of the participants are imbeciles, failing to get even the most obvious questions (for example: "What is your name?" or "How do you spell 'I'"), and asking questions which are invalid ("Who wrote the book 'The Clockwork Orange'" or "H

96-97-98

• The buzzmaster is called the Jahrmeister
• Instead of asking a question, he sings a popular song. Examples of songs sung are:
  • Land of Confusion by Genesis
  • The One and Only by Chesney Hawkes
  • Yes by McAlmont and Butler
• Instead of answering questions, players buzz in to guess the year in which the song was released.
• A player who correctly identifies the year gets a point and may claim up to three bonus points for identifying the title, artist and album.
• A player who correctly identifies all four discographical elements is said to have "done the grand slam" and becomes the new Jahrmeister