3P Earth Lab

What -really- happens in the 3P's sekrit lab on Earth?

PXC Op: "Hey, what's this do, it's kinda neat looking" 
O2: "No don't push that button we haven't changed the polarity!" *BOOM!* 
O2: "No you MORON stuff here on Earth DOES NOT work like stuff in Perplex City.... Idiot..." 
V: "How goes 'Operation Visor'?" 
O2: "Great, if your bloody operatives didn't keep causing our stuff to spontaneously combust!" 
V: "Keep me posted" 
PxC Op: "AHHHH I'M ON FIRE!!" 
O2: "Remind me again why you sent these guys here?" 
V: "Look, it was a good idea at the time, gimme a break" 
PxC Op: "WHY THE HELL ISN'T ANYONE PUTTING ME OUT!?" 
O2: "Shut the hell up!" 
PxC Op: "Hey boss, I think I found the cube! It's a lot bigger and purple though..." 
O2: "That's a game console..." 
PxC Op: "Aaah, a fire extinguisher" *Picks up Mobile Phone* "Why won't it work!?" 
O2: "That's a phone, y'know, like a key, but more primitive" 
PxC Op: "-This- is a phone? I thought that was a phone..." 
O2: "..." 
V: "Sorry O2, the other ops kept remateralising into walls..." 
V: "Luckily we got the bugs out with these guys" 
O2: "That's not a phone, that's a bloody television" 
O2: "Lucky? Define 'lucky'" 
V:  "Well....none of them have turned into steam and screamed for hours yet!" 
O2: "What about that guy?" 
V: "He's only missing an arm, it's not that bad" 
PxC Op: "Hahaha! Oh my God, come look at this! These "unfiction" people think this is all a game!" 
O2: "Boy, are they wrong, muhahahahahahahaha"