Fan Fiction

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During a particular night in the #syzygy chat room someone made a comment on how there was no Perplex City fan fiction as of yet. This started (in true syzygy style) a long discussion about Perplex City slash fiction, including some short excerpts.

Beware. The following will shock, disturb and confuse. But not necessarily in that order.


"His eyes darted downwards - "Why Caine, that's an impressive Key you have in your pocket...".

"Yes Garnet. It's the X50 Rambler...silent running model...".

"I heard that it had lots of extra....features, would you care to show me around those buttons sometime?"


"Caine's eyes widened as Kurt removed his running shorts, revealing his toned calves and knees...was it him, or did the locker room suddenly seem much warmer?"


Kurt watched as the librarian freed her luscious dark hair from the toggle that chained it to the nape of her neck. She pulled off her glasses and shook her head vigorously from side to side...

"But Miss Kiteway... you're... beautiful."

Violet smiled shyly at him, before grapping his tie and pulling his willing lips towards hers.

Violet was at a level of 'drunk' such that she'd happily admit the fact, but not so far gone that she didn't know what she was saying. Hence the conversation with Kurt, whilst propped up against the wall of '#syzygy' came as something of a surprise.

"Yeah... I'm at that stage of my life where I'm looking for the right man," she heard herself saying, whilst pounding the ice in her drink with her straw.

"What sort of man are you looking for?" asked Kurt.

She yelled back. "Intelligent, good looking... interested in things other than their next promotion..." she glanced at Kurt and their eyes locked. A bolt of understanding, as quick and deadly as electricity passed between them.


Kurt lay still, feeling the ebbing waves of ecstacy washing over him as Miranda fell panting across him.

"Kurt...", she started to say, half lifting herself. "Kurt... there's something I have to tell you." Kurt braced himself for the inevitable "This isn't working" speech...

Instead, he lay amazed as his lover lifted a latch on the side of her face.



"OMG, TEH SNEEKY 3P!" cried Kurt, reaching for his handy troll!

"Stoopid hooman!" yelled Herbert.

"Everyone knows that sock puppets defeat trolls!"

And Herbert smote Kurt mightily to death.

And then the limericks started.

Oh dear.


Anna flashed her eyes at the older man sat in front of her. She could ignore her perfect home life, her above-average twins and her baby just starting to read heiroglyphics... in that instant when her eyes met his, she was all but ready to tear off his clothes and become one with him in his stationary cupboard. Licking her suddenly dry lips, she whispered "So shall we work on it after hours, Cymballisty?"


Anne put the razor-blade away, and passed Cymballisty the rolled-up 20money note. "Go'll make you feel real smart!"


Garnet slapped the young woman across the room.

"Chest-full-of-medals? Try saying than when you've got no teeth, slut!" Tippy struck the wall and slid down it, panting heavily, her chest heaving.

"I won't say it again!". Garnet stalked the length of his office and stood above her, glowering down at her.

"Won't say what again, SIR!" he bellowed, pulling her up by her hair.

"Yes, Sir! Anything, Sir!" Tippy grabbed his lapels and...


Tippy lounged lazily in her chair, deliberately rucking her skirt higher up her thighs than necessary. She loved the way that Violet sneeked glances over the top of her glasses.

"So, this poker puzzle... ready in a week?" she let her pen fall against her lusciously full lower lip. Violet watched the tip of a wet pink tongue poke out.

"Yes. I can't do it any sooner." Tippy pouted.

"Some man stealing you away?"

Tippy shakily refilled her glass as the room spun slowly around her. Fuck Helix and his latest floozy, he'd come crawling ba... a hand fell on her shoulder. She span unsteadily, only to meet the unforgiving eyes of Violet.

"Are you okay? You look upset?" she asked, steadying the swaying sexpot.

"Men are bastards" slurred Tippy, falling into Violet.

Red-gold and black hair intertwined as Violet gently stroked away Tippy's tears.

"You know, you really don't need a man to define you. You can be whatever you want to be by yourself." Their eyes met.

"I... don't suppose..." began Tippy, looking at her feet.

"Sssh," Violet whispered, lifting Tippy's chin.

"Just don't say anything, and it might be okay." Someone must have leaned forwards then, because suddenly there was a joining of... (a work in progress, apparently...)


"So, this have any, uh, alternative powers?" Scarlett often enquired of her older sister.

"Not that I'd tell you about, that's for sure..." She replied with a knowing wink...


Sente paused, the sweat falling off of his forehead and onto the hair of the beautiful young thing currently shuddering beneath him. He took a moment to savour the intensity of feeling before thrusting into the quivering body again.

"Oh, Von..."

Herbert/Someone's Hand

There was once a puppet called Herbert,
with an unhealthy desire for sherbert.
We thought it was fishi
when he went off with wishi,
and I'm trying to find a rhyme other than 'pervert'.