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| Futures are a section in the [[Perplex City Sentinel]], much like Horoscopes. | | ==General== |
| | *'''Website:''' http://www.perplexcitysentinel.com/futures/ |
| | *Futures are a section in the [[Perplex City Sentinel]], much like Horoscopes on Earth. |
| | *As on Earth, each sign has an association with a certain portion of the [[Calendar]] |
| | *Also as on Earth, The signs appear to have mythological significance. |
| | *Many people believe the futures are all stuff and nonesense. |
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| ===Futures from March 21 edition:=== | | ==The Signs== |
| | ===The Hand=== |
| | *January 11 - February 10 |
| | *[[Gyvann]] referred to hands often, and it has been speculated that he may have been using a play on phrase referring to literal and skyward hands at once. |
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| | ===The Baby=== |
| | *February 11 - March 10 |
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
| | ===The Eagle=== |
| Heel, boy! You've been coming down pretty hard on your group. Step back, breathe, and remember - it's only a game.
| | *March 11 - April 10 |
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
| | ===The Spider=== |
| Miss Priss, when last we spoke you were plotting vengeance on he who done you wrong. Giving the man a little space may be just the unexpected trick to lure him back to your lair.
| | *April 11 - May 10 |
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
| | ===The Wave=== |
| I love how hard you're working, but I do not love the toll this work is taking on your body. I prescribe green vegetables and a spa day.
| | *May 11 - June 10 |
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
| | ===The Archer=== |
| Is it possible to have it all if you're not having much fun? Take some time out of your hectic schedule to plan some spontaneity!
| | *June 11 - July 10 |
| | *Famous Archers: |
| | **[[Scarlett Kiteway]] |
| | *May be in reference, maybe, to an ancient cult in Perplex City known as [[The Archers of Dawn]] |
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
| | ===The Half-filled Jug=== |
| If you ask her, she will come.
| | *July 11 - August 10 |
| | *Refers to one of [[Five Tasks of Madna]] |
| | **Madna was to fill the [[Mazy River]] using a jug. |
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
| | ===The Dragon=== |
| So there's this rumor going around that you just suffered a rather devastating blow to your ego. You've kind of had it coming. But don't fret, you'll bounce straight back.
| | *August 11 - September 10 |
| | *Famous Dragons: |
| | **[[Violet Kiteway]] |
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
| | ===The Three Balls=== |
| Your team is spinning its wheels, and you're leaving them hanging. You're the ideas person, so get cracking!
| | *September 11 - October 10 |
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
| | ===The Dice=== |
| Take a shot on that newcomer who wants a piece of the action. Bide your time; it will pay off big at the end of the week.
| | *October 11 - November 10 |
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
| | ===The Maze=== |
| I know just what will get you out of those doldrums. Shake up your little world: take a class, join a new games league, take a day trip. Anything's better than where you are now, right?
| | *November 11 - December 10 |
| | *Refers to one of [[Five Tasks of Madna]] |
| | **Madna was to navigate the [[Maze of Stars]] |
| | *Famous Mazes: |
| | **[[Alejo Jackson]] |
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
| | ===The Apple-Thief=== |
| Roses are red, violets are blue. Somebody close has a huge crush on you.
| | *December 11 - January 10 |
| | *Refers to one of [[Five Tasks of Madna]] |
| | **Madna was to steal the apple from the jaws of a giant crocodile. |
| | *This sign is always delivered in prose of some sort. |
| | *in a mythical sense, according to [[Gyvann]], The Apple-Thief is the bringer of justice. He makes right all that is askew, though the righting may often be painful. |
| | *Famous Apple Thieves: |
| | **[[Cyrus Quinton]] |
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| You're too gosh darned nice. Stop being everyone's carpet. Next time someone asks a favor of you, politely refuse. You know what guy does not look hot to the ladies? That would be the one they can push around.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br> | | ===And Remember, ...=== |
| You have been taking such positive steps lately. Keep it up! The end result will be completely worth it. You may even land a treat tomorrow for all your hard work.
| | The futures, as presented by [[Madame Bianca]], always includes a more general statement. This advice always begins with '''And Remember,'''. It is unknown if this is a traditional means of telling futures, or simply one of Madame Bianca's hallmarks. |
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| ===Futures from March 28 edition: === | | ==References== |
| | *The [[Reconstructionists]] have a security system which uses a knowledge and awareness of the futures. |
| | **blog, 02-JUN-05 "A plan" {{WaybackS1|www.quirkyacuity.com/archives/2005/06/a_plan.html}} |
| | **blog, 03-JUN-05 "Success" {{WaybackS1|www.quirkyacuity.com/archives/2005/06/success.html}} |
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br> | | *[[Cyrus Quinton]] left a very subtle puzzle, which required us to find his sign. |
| Floundering? Out of options? Do what I do when trouble hits: Sushi! Have an eel and cucumber roll; it brings you luck.
| | **'''The Perplex City Sentinel''' |
| | ***article, 26-JAN-06 "[[Iona Rodie|Iona]] Interviews... [[Alejo Jackson]]" {{WaybackS1|www.perplexcitysentinel.com/archives/2006/01/iona_interviews_14.html}} |
| | **'''Quirky Acuity, [[Violet]]'s blog''' |
| | ***blog, 31-JAN-06 "Seven reasons I hate [[Pyramid]]" {{WaybackS1|www.quirkyacuity.com/archives/2006/01/seven_reasons_i.html}} |
| | ***blog, 08-JAN-06 "Saving [[Kurt]]" {{WaybackS1|www.quirkyacuity.com/archives/2006/02/saving_kurt.html}} |
| | **'''The Path of Least Time, [[Kurt]]'s blog''' |
| | ***blog, 01-FEB-06 "[[Cyrus Quinton]]" {{WaybackS1|www.thepathofleasttime.com/archives/2006/02/cyrus_quinton.html}} |
| | ***blog, 07-FEB-06 "Stars" {{WaybackS1|www.thepathofleasttime.com/archives/2006/02/star_signs.html}} |
| | ***blog, 13-FEB-06 "Last words of [[Monica Grand|Monica]]" {{WaybackS1|www.thepathofleasttime.com/archives/2006/02/last_words_of_m_1.html}} |
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
| | *[[Alejo Jackson Chat Log]] |
| The Archer has you in her sights. Should your subdolous ways slip, she'll snarl. Scarper.
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Shuffle your way to heaven at your weekly card game. Bet big. Triangles are go.
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| The fruits of your labor are sour. Taking up arms is never suggested, though it is often appropriate. Just don't forget to take backup.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Great minds think alike, so get together with a like mind this week. Let two halves make a sphere.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| Your fiery nature ignites a skirmish against a rival team. Funnel your energies into something positive, and stop it. You know, before someone loses an eye.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| You seem to be in a bit of a bawdy phase. Doesn't seem like a lasting turn. The slightest overstepping of your boundaries will turn you prim again.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Missing a piece of your interpersonal jigsaw is even worse than misplacing your key. This is a good week to take out a personal ad. Go on, it's only your pride.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| Unexpected ventures haven't turned out well for you. It's time to get back to basics. Traditional values are on the rise.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| I think that you shall never be as smart as those who know base three.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| Your newfound spirit of independence has opened many portals. Pay no heed to those who would direct your course; use your own internal compass.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| You are as beautiful as a flower. Why do you let this ugly-minded person make you dinner? (Eel and cucumber rolls can be lucky for all signs, really. Yum.)
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| And remember, it's not how you play the game, it's how the game plays you, kiddo.
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| ===Futures from the week of April 4 edition:===
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| Persistence pays; this is the week for you to be stubborn. Stand your ground. Beware the Jug who will try to derail you.
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| As your skirmish rolls on, you may require a distraction. A fluffy movie, a new pair of shoes, or some Earth-lit might be perfect to lift your spirits.
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Try your brain at your local puzzle open this week. I know you can be intimidated by live events, but you owe it to yourself to give it a shot. You're making great strides.
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Intelligence has driven you where you are. It is, however, not everything. You're becoming cold, and I fret that you'll freeze out your support system.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Endgame can't come too soon for you, eh? Take some time to really explore your world fully now. Breathe it in while you still have a chance.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| "Nice spec. Buy you a drink?" This haggard line was actually used on me at a puzzlebar this weekend. Needless to say, I had to retort with another classic: "What's your sign, baby?" Dragons, get new material. Please.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| Cased any joints lately? Several Balls I know are up to no good. Crime doesn't pay, dudes.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Expect a windfall. Then do the opposite of your norm. Rather than putting those Lecks back into the games, please set some aside. You'll need them next month.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| Kick those energy leeches out of your life. You know you have to sooner or later!
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended. That you have but slumbr'd here, whilst these visions did appear.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| Does my third eye deceive me? Are you really eyeing the Three Balls? If you want to end up like Joya and Alejo, I suppose it's really none of my business.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| Spring is all sprungy, so splurge on something cute and pastel. Nothing works as well as fashion for a panacea!
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| ''And remember,'' you won't help children grow by pulling them up higher.
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| ===Futures from the week of April 11 edition:===
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| You've been hard at work spinning that web of yours. This week you'll finally get a look at your grand design. It's perfect!
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Wear something yellow today. And no, I mean something that started out yellow. It brings out your ruddy optimism.
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Getting awfully full of yourself, aren't you? Don't worry, I know a little Hand who's going to put you in your place.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Tuesday will be a very, very bad day. Better call in sick and hide under the covers.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| Ever feel like you're the last of a dying breed? That's because you are. And who do you think will miss you, anyway?
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| You should have a nice chat with your mother. She misses you, and we both know you've got some things you really should tell her.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| All of this practice being patient is having a salubrious effect on you. Blood pressure down, in touch with your inner light, and so forth. You even find solves faster! Keep up the good work.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| You're getting frustrated at your irrational surroundings. Take a deep breath, help yourself to a good glass of wine, relax. It will all start to make sense before long.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| When every die cast falls your way, be grateful that you're here to play.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| This week you'll see right through the Archer's fabrications. Don't be afraid to speak up, you know you're on the right side.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| Looking at your spring wardrobe? You'll feel better about it if you wait until next week, after you catch a stomach bug and lose five pounds.
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| Don't be so hard on yourself on Wednesday, it could happen to anybody. On Friday, though, you so should have seen it coming. Better luck next time!
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| <b>And remember,</b> nobody keeps a secret forever.
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| ===Futures from the week of April 18 edition:===
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| Web's done, so take a time out. Get to the library and ask yourself, "What would Charlotte do?"
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Trust your gut. If you think the hand's bad, it probably is. But then, you knew that, right?
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Well, that smarted! Sometimes it is okay to bite that which smacks you.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Remember how much fun you used to have with the neighborhood kids, playing tag in the street? Games can still be that freeing, so go with the flow.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| You never were so hot at pick up sticks. Does it sting that she didn't call? Welcome to the rest of the human race, boyo.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| When the revolution comes, it'll be people like you against the wall. Of course, we all know spheres don't rest against a wall easily, so let's just say there'll probably be a vice involved.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Long story short. Snorkels ahoy! Prepare to eat trout, you lucky duckling.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| Quite lost down the rabbit hole, aren't ya? This babe's the one to give you a helping hand.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| All work and no play yield great rewards at the end of the day.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| It's like I used to tell my sister: if you're going to head south, make sure you bring the spray. If you mess with the bull, you'll get the horns.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| Can't get that promotion you want by resting on your laurels. The effort you'll need to make comes reflexively to others, so you'll have to really put on a good show.
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| You have reason to stand tall. Just make sure you don't hit your head on that load-bearing strut over there!
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| <b>And remember,</b> the most amazing journey happens without taking a step.
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| ===Futures from the week of April 25 edition:===
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| You are a rare and special flower. No, really. I don't care what all those other people say.
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| My, my. Hasn't my little up-and-downer gone and made himself a big ol' fanboy? A little birdie tells me that you've quite the crush on a certain big name gamer. Remember, they taze stalkers.
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Sure have your work cut out for you. Use the week to recharge. It's the calm before the storm.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Well, tip you over and pour you out: someone's hiding a lush secret. It's not as covert as you think. I spy with my little eye a spider in the know.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| Dude, have you tried the dragon roll at Asiachique? It's a little explosion of heaven in one's mouth. It's really just the thing to soothe the savage beast.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| Grey days got you down? I hear Brain Benders has a special happy hour on when it's raining. Get in out of the wet and have a little fun. Tell 'em Madame B. sent you, and you'll get the works.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Your lucky charm isn't working so well these days. Best to grow out of those childish superstitions.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| It happens that I found myself at the Mimasan Maze last night, and naturally I thought of you, dear reader. Meditation early this week will do you much good, leading to unbound clarity in the days ahead.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| Phee phi pho phum. Phew that you've returned to mum.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| Stop being so frenetic; it's making me nervous. Roll on back to the bar. No eel and cucumber for you, though; it wouldn't sit right when you're so unsettled.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| I see you're getting a little careless. Is it on purpose? Make sure you know what happens when you get caught, babe.
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| As the pop song goes, you'll never get the spoils if it's not in the cards. Stick a card up your sleeve, snookums, and let the spoils come to you. But just this once. Our secret. Yours, mine, and the 5 million strong Sentinel readership.
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| <b>And remember,</b> truth can never be told so as to be understood, and not be believed.
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| ===Futures from the week of May 2 edition:===
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| An itsy bitsy conflict finds you on the right end of the debate at the end of the week. Enjoy it while it lasts.
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Recent mania notwithstanding, you have, in fact, been trending upwards. Renew your perspectives and clear your mind. Perhaps a Wheel game would be just the ticket this weekend?
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Naivete from you, my dear? Don't let a flirty competitor cloud your ambition. Be the first in flight.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| Sharks patrol these waters. I know you're ready to get out. I'm pleased to inform you that land is totally ahoy.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| Thursday will introduce a tall, dark, handsome stranger. Yes, I hear you moaning all the way over here. Nonetheless, stranger things happen.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| All dressed up and nowhere to go? The party's wherever you are, pet. It's all about the attitude.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Yet again, you find yourself in over your head. When your only tool is a ninja, every problem looks like a bodybag.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| Oi. Be careful Friday night. If that hot date doesn't burn the joint down, the candles might.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| When the game is running long, and your apple's out of reach, keep in mind that all things end, and the apple's there to teach.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| Riddle me this.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| Front-burner some personal time. Play hooky and head to Hex's for an afternoon session. It's in the cards, baby.
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| Plunge into the dating pool mid-week with some pals. Cast your rod carefully. Here there be dragons.
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| <b>And remember,</b> with time, the river softens even the sharpest pebble.
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| ===Futures from the week of May 9 edition:===
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| ''The Spider (April 11 - May 10)''<br>
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| Fashion plate, surely you've heard that tailored looks are the spring thing. Can we ditch the revivalist puffs now? It's not like you to be so behind.
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| ''The Wave (May 11 - June 10)''<br>
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| Ambiguity is quite the lifestyle, huh? Let's, just this week during that big date, lay our cards on the table once and for all. See where the ride takes us.
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| ''The Archer (June 11 - July 10)''<br>
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| Now that's my wham bam Archer! Take some more names this week during volleyball at the Alchemy Beach season opening on Thursday.
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| ''The Half-filled Jug (July 11 - August 10)''<br>
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| The idyllic greener grass you seek is merely simulacrum. It sucks to always get what you want, fickle pickle.
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| ''The Dragon (August 11 - September 10)''<br>
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| It's too early in the day for me to deal with you, fire-breath. You need to just stop spewing all over the rest of us. Ugh.
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| ''The Three Balls (September 11 - October 10)''<br>
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| Oi. You could use a perk up, and I'm clearly just not getting through to you. I do recommend you hook up with an Archer; the mere wake of the arrow should be enough to pull you upwards.
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| ''The Dice (October 11 - November 10)''<br>
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| Prolong this moment of power; the social implications that could result are just dizzying.
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| ''The Maze (November 11 - December 10)''<br>
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| Anxiety does not become you. The flattering shade of chill, however, may well suit. I haven't seen you this stressed since your first exams, which, by the way, you so survived.
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| ''The Apple-Thief (December 11 - January 10)''<br>
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| Candy is dandy, but liquor works quicker.
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| ''The Hand (January 11 - February 10)''<br>
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| Your actions last week infuriated me. Organ donation: consider it. Soon.
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| ''The Baby (February 11 - March 10)''<br>
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| Like to be filthy, stinking rich? Yeah, me too. Settle for winning a round's worth of Lecks? Play the mini strips on Saturday.
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| ''The Eagle (March 11 - April 10)''<br>
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| Crisis much? It's faith vs. reason right here in the nest, folks. What would Ockham do?
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| <b>And remember,</b> the only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.
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